For I command you today to love the LORD, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Deut. 30:16-20

This last weekend we made the trip all the way to Fresno to get cub scout uniforms for my little one. Got the patches, the hat, the shirt, the scarf and so forth.

We’ve been working on the Bobcat Trail which consist of a series of requirements to earn that recognition. Once done with that, there’s the Tiger Cub rank he gets. He has already done quite a number of the electives to earn beads for his badge totems.

While he’s got an early start (not quite first grade yet), he’s getting a pretty good look at what’s ahead for next year. We’re both learning alot and what’s ahead is promising, I think.

Maybe this is about finishing what was started over 40 years ago. Started and never finished.

Here’s what I’ve done to get back in the saddle for this season.

1. Cardio. Everyday on the Treadmill for 1-hr. Varying elevation gains with steady pace at heart rate of 75% of max (steady between 2.3 and 2.8 mph at varying slope changes 5%-10%).

2. Old Gear. Went through all I’ve got from every which end. Eleven different bins and containers and an entire gear closet cleared up. Some gear disposed and some just sent away in storage. Prepared 2 ready bins. One with all gear pack ready and one for replenishment of consumables. Fired up and cleaned stove, checked sleeping bag, and renewed fuel canister supply. Repaired gaiters and made a note to order a bucket load of AA and AAA lithium batteries.

3. New Gear. Replaced hydration equipment, first-aid materials, and all technical apparel. Bought new lightweight Thermarest sleeping pad, Granite Gear pack top, camp water container, PLB / SPOT emergency system, eTrex GPS. Replaced truck with 4wD Jeep. Except for batteries, I figure I’m okay with photo gear.

4. Set up the open ended and tentative schedule for all outings. Everything is tentative as it must be due to weather, or real life circumstances. The calendar is marked for months ahead.

5. Have to get passes for Sierra, SeKi, Yosemite and Sierra Madre, San Gabriels.

6. Going to get on the phone this week or next to set reserve the wilderness permits for overnighters where-ever or as needed.

7. Packed several months of family outings and events in the future to balance things out.

More to do, but this is good enough for now.

Unbreakable

Where are the people that accuse me?
The ones who beat me down and bruised me?
They hide, just out of sight
Can’t face me in the light
They will return, but I’ll be stronger

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Sometimes it’s hard to just keep going
But faith is moving without knowing
Can I trust what I can’t see
to reach my destiny?
I want to take control, but I know better

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

Forget the fear, it’s just a crutch
That tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust
All you need to do is just trust
(Trust, trust, trust)

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

God, I want to dream again
Take me where I’ve never been
I want to go there
This time I’m not scared
Now I am unbreakable
It’s unmistakable
No one can touch me
Nothing can stop me

If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can’t see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her

So Cold

Crowded streets all cleared away
One by One
Hollow heroes separate
As they run

You’re so cold
Keep your hand in mine
Wise men wonder while
Strong men die

Show me how it ends it’s alright
Show me how defenseless you really are
Satisfy an empty inside
That’s alright, let’s give this another try

If you find your family, don’t you cry
In this land of make-believe, dead and dry

You’re so cold, but you feel alive
Lay your hands on me one last time

It’s alright

Breaking Benjamin. So Cold.

Whatever you’re going to do, now is the time.

Over the weekend I had Miranda with me putting together her Awana Derby Race car project. It was a great excuse to get to the hardware store some 20 miles away (it’s great living in the country) to buy some power tools. Electric sander, jig saw, reciprocating saw, paints, and the works. We (I) went all out.

So we got home and there we were hand-over-hand ripping through that little block of wood to shape it. The hand sander, the paint can sprayer, with all of it, we were together. I was there asking questions about her preferences about color, styling, numbering and so forth. She has to do it, but I’m there to “supervise”. Yeah, sure.

Do this enough though and she’s just gonna continue to shine strong. Tonight she got back from Awana and earned another gem for her badge.

She is just everything to me. For all that it took to get her here and for the 1,000 apologies and running it has taken, I’m merely living in the now with my family. She is just an unspeakable joy.

Hear the ticking of a clock
The sound of life itself
No one really wants to die
To save the world

Tell me that you’re torn asunder

“Mountaineering takes place in an environment indifferent to human needs, and not everyone is willing to pay the price in hardship for its rich physical and spiritual rewards.”
Freedom of the Hills, Pg. 15.

I’ve been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away
What have you done now?
Why? Why does Fate make us suffer?
There’s a curse between us
Between me and you

Here’s what’s on my Google calendar and in my Franklin planner, but at this point they’re just scheduled possibilities. They’re assigned to different weekends over the course of this coming season. They’re all goals and I’ll get to what I can, or to what my strength can muster.

1.) Cloudripper
2.) Mt Conness
3.) Mt Silliman
4.) White Chief Mountain
5.) Mt Dana
6.) Florence Peak
7.) Vandever Mountain
8.) Mt Langley
9.) Mt Tyndall
10.) White Mountain

This Winter season is beyond us, but there’s alot of snow build up still on those mountains in the distance. Miss my wilderness and my beloved Sierra. North, South, East or West, there’s life there. There’s meaning and renewal there. It’s where there’s where more to life and things get clear again. — During the colder winter months, think it might be necessary to head beyond the Eastern Sierra and into the high desert beyond.

Having spent time exploring Joshua Tree, maybe there are endeavors into Mojave, the Panamints, and Death Valley worthy of consideration. There’s a whole Winter of wound up miles and altitude within me and there’s gonna be a series of outings ahead to certainly make up for it.

Remember This? Farther Back than Four Years Ago

AutumnLyric

T. Marie. Keys to Heaven.

Before he passed away, my brother sometimes said that he was sure we were of Celtic origin. Never really understood how he knew that. I’m not so sure, but there’s just something that resonates about it.

Think I recall that my birth father tells me we have British origin, but it would be interesting to try and trace that back somehow. — In any case, being drawn to the highlands and wilderness, being devoted to flawed faith in our God, and a love of music seems to speak about what’s within. That somehow maybe there’s a sense of belonging, but I just don’t know.

Can we by distance and time somehow be entirely separated from an ancestry or heritage that should claim us?

Smygol

Pieces

I’m here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I’ve lost so much along the way

Then I’ll see your face
I know I’m finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

I’ve come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye

Then I’ll see your face
I know I’m finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole!

I tried so hard! So hard!
I tried so hard!

Then I’ll see your face
I know I’m finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
So you can make me whole

Red. Pieces

Wow, here’s a report that gets your attention. Our population is becoming more sedentary as there are increased demands on energy and new forms of lifestyle, learning and entertainment.

And what’s amazing is that it takes natural resources such as gases, liquids, solid matter and other forms of energy to produce the video you’re watching, the LCD screen you’re viewing and the power that has your computer on right now.

Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
Ps. 25: 4

Remember not the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you are good, O LORD.

For the sake of your name, O LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

Ps. 25: 7 & 11

It was Easter Sunday, but last night I had a dream. Rather, I think it was early morning. It was about an outing I happen to be on. A climbing trip in Antarctica. Our crew was just beyond safety on a steep ridge that leads off to the summit of Vinson Massif.

The ridge was mixed with cornices, large flat boulders, and snow fields leading upward. The route to where we were on our descent was sketchy, but everyone was safe except for one remaining guy bringing up the rear. He wasn’t roped up and he was quite close to getting off the ridge to where we were.

I knew him as a close friend it seemed, but it wasn’t possible to get or recognize his identity. It wasn’t possible to see who it was, but it was clear that we knew each other our entire lives.

While he was traversing downward, just several paces from us, he was slipping. He was losing his footing on a large flat and shaky granite boulder and it appeared early he knew that he wouldn’t be able to hang on and keep steady. Suddenly and with certainty about what was coming, he looked straight at me and said, “never let go and never give up.” — I was just as alarmed at what he said as what was about to happen. We watched him fall to his death.

When he was gone, my soul sank within me. There was nothing we could do and we were in shock. But yet we carried on as though it didn’t happen. It was cold, windy and icy. We were in Antarctica, but we seemed to feel safe and warm nonetheless. It was a dream and it was as if everyone on that trip knew we were as much a part of that dream as the climb itself. And still, those words made it to this side of reality and those words were theirs.

After I awoke, later in the day I remembered being on Google Earth and checking out satellite photos of Vinson Massif (the highest summit in Antarctica).

I have no idea what the meaning of the dream might be, but then I think about these blessings. A gift beyond words.

Progress. And what an undertaking. Ended up needing better ball-joints all around in order to get the correct alignment. It rides rough and I’m concerned about the shocks (Terra Flex). I suspect they’re as stiff as they are for off-road use, but we’ll see. More to come about that because I might want something for a softer ride. A balance between asphalt and rough dirt roads.

It’s a big difference and so far so good with handling.